Outdoor Six

28 May 2020

C19 Escapism

Boris announced tonight that groups of up to six people could meet up so long as it was outdoors.

At one point there then seemed to be a long and animated discussion about barbecues and I lost interest, but from what I could gather, it would be ok so long as you were not showing the Simpsons. So turn that telly off it will only increase the R rate. Unless it's a new series.

Also new today is the NHS TT which has led to a number of confusions as seems to be the way these days.

Firstly, I thought the app trial was taking place on the Isle Of Wight but the name suggests to me that is taking place on the Isle Of Man. I have researched social media and found the following to back my suspicion that the government is lying to us again:-

1) People using the app have grown a third leg

2) Their cat's tail has fallen off

3) They have developed an overwhelming interest in Man United or Man City

4) There was a big crash at the start

No wonder they are trying to keep the location quiet. I believe all of the above to be true, like Trump I don't think they need to be fact checked if someone has been good enough to put them out there.

Secondly what does TT actually mean? Boris said it was Test and Trace. The BBC says Track and Trace. Dominic Cummings says its Track and Test - if he needs to go to Kempton Park and The Oval to check his eyesight.

Thirdly the head of the TT programme has been announced as Baroness Dido, who was honoured for having the best selling album of 2001 'No Angel'. A strange appointment therefore though the name Dido derives from the Queen of Carthage so she has always been destined for great things

C19 Song Of The Day

Tonight's song for the Now That's What I Call Covid 19 playlist is another cheery one from Chris Colcomb of Fuel Venues. It is 'We're Too Young To Die' by Jamiroquai.

Happily for the young that has generally been true of C19. Unhappily I am not one of their low number.

Jamiroquai is a portmanteau (yes) of Jam and The Iroquois. Trump says if the latter cause any trouble he will sort them out just like George Bush did.

C19 Support Shorts

Another relaxation of rules is that whereas there is normally a 30 day limit to report a VAT option to tax on a property to HMRC that has currently been extended to 90 days. This covers any options exercised in the period 15th February to 30th June 2020 so could be useful in some circumstances

The manned launch of SpaceX was cancelled last night, due to weather reasons so they said. Regular readers of this bulletin will not be surprised to learn that it was actually because Elon Musk accidentally unplugged the long lead when he wanted to charge his Tesla for a quick getaway.

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