27 Apr 2020
NASA announced that an asteroid approximately 1.5 miles wide is going to fly past Earth at a distance of 4m miles, not an astronomical amount in astronomical terms. Some people are worried about this as they have nothing else on their mind at the moment.
Regular readers of this bulletin will know there is in fact nothing to worry about thanks to the giant chocolate egg shield. Donald Trump tried to announce this at the press conference, but everyone just assumed he was being sarcastic again. So it is left to little old me to reassure the public. Once again, I am ahead of the game.
Actually thinking about it ducks are game, at least the ones I have met, and therefore considering I have been so effusive about them in the past I don’t think I should really consider myself ahead of them. A Partridge flies at around 30mph so I wouldn't be ahead of that either. A Deer can fair shift as well.
A bit like Mr Trump when someone tells him exactly what he has said. I therefore wish to retract my initial statement. I think the only game I am likely to be ahead of is an elderly rabbit with a bad leg.
Nice to see Boris back in action after his brush with C19.
“Boris The Builder
Can He Fix It?
Boris The Builder
Yes He Can!
But he can't say when."
Definitely a builder then.
Matt Hancock said that a new regular feature of the Downing Street press conference was to be questions from the public. A Partridge (chat show host, not speedy game bird) used to say that every week and then the feature was never seen again. We will see.
Aha! Was the name of a Norwegian popular beat combo, their biggest hit being ‘Take On Me’. Rather spookily that is an anagram of Matt Hancock. If you change some of the letters and add some others.
C19 Song On The Day
'We Gotta Get Out Of This Place' by The Animals.
Presumably game do when they see me, with one notable exception as I previously intimated.
I hardly dare mention that this was sent in by Garry Clutterbrook of Achieve Potentials, his third one to get an airing. Look there are no payments in cash or in kind being made it just fitted in well with tonight's theme ok?
C19 Support Shorts
The new Bounce Back Loan Facility was announced today and a detailed email was sent earlier.
Applications for up to £50,000 can be made from 4 May.