Medical Distancing

25 Apr 2020

I was quite surprised to see various videos of staff in hospitals and doctors surgeries dancing to Amarillo. Nothing wrong with that as such, people under pressure need to let off a bit of steam now and again and doing something silly is as good as anything. I can hardly complain about that can I?

It’s just that in some cases there were a lot of people in small areas jumping about, mostly with no masks on. Unless they were in a Tardis, very odd when everyone is being implored to use social distancing to try and keep the pressure off them in the first place.

However, this pales into insignificance compared to Donald Trump. He demonstrated extreme distancing, it's just that in his case it was from reality. He suggested, only on live television, that people could perhaps be injected with disinfectant or have a strong light shone on them to combat C19.

This was the leader of the free world remember, not Dougal from Father Ted. I can only assume he had both of the treatments shortly before the press conference. He has said today that he was being sarcastic and again I have to hold my hands up there. Perhaps next time he should hold up a piece of cardboard with 'C19 Escapism' written on it in crayon first.

Speaking of Father Ted I recall one episode where Father Jack had been drinking Toilet Duck, perhaps he had a cold. There is another ability of that redoubtable little animal which I missed off my original list, along with taking penalties against Germany.

Donald Duck would make a better President than Donald Trump as well. Oh no there is another one. I think before I produce a definitive list I need to get all my ducks in a row.

Arrggghhh will it never end?

C19 Song Of The Day

Today's is from Sarah Meanwell of our personal tax department by Britney Spears and it is ‘Toxic'

Much like Donald Trump's suggested treatment then. Given that she suggested this some time ago I am now wondering if she had some information from inside the White House. Actually it’s no wonder it is white given the amount of disinfectant and strong light flying about is it?

C19 Support Shorts

1) You would think Trump was in charge of the design of the Furlough calculations given such things, as you are allowed to claim less NIC if you pay 100% wages, than if you only pay 80%. Don’t ask, but anomalies such as this only slow the process down.

2) The SSP reclaim procedure is still not up and running but now the Furlough portal is done, whatever the shortcomings, HMRC will be able to get on with this.

Stay sane

Kind regards,

Dr W.H.O.

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