21 May 2020
The ongoing mad situation has reminded me of a book I had to study in English Literature many years ago called The Day Of The Triffids.
This was a jolly tale about a world in chaos because most people went blind after watching an apparent meteor shower (not meteorite note, that's an Unknown Unknown).
Not only that this led to an escape of Triffids, which were large carnivorous and mobile plants and which had previously been cultivated for their oil. It's amazing the weird stuff people make up when they start writing isn't it?
The Triffids then began attacking and killing people and many of them literally never saw that coming. What possessed the school to make young kids read this nightmare stuff?
I think it was because it was around the time that the cane was abolished and they needed another way to frighten pupils into submission.
It certainly worked with me. Even today if I am driving down a country lane and I see one of those red signs which say 'Heavy Plant Crossing' I think a Triffid is after me.
A Triffid is still a preferable opponent to C19 because at least you can see it and if you are able to overpower it you can add it to your vegan diet.
We should not think badly of plants generally though. They are Autotrophs which basically means they make their own food rather than eating something else (apart from Triffids and Venus Fly Traps - there may be others, there is a rose bush in my garden that looks at me in a funny way).
The majority of plants obtain their energy via photosynthesis, a happy waste product of which is oxygen. So without plants no animals could ever have existed and that remains the case. The next time you do the garden therefore be gentle, the plants at least deserve that.
Apart from that rose bush, it is going to get a right good pruning and no mistake.
C19 Song Of the Day
Tonight's is from Neil Mudd of our personal tax department and it is Chuck Berry with 'No Particular Place to Go'.
It seems from looking at the news though that many people did have a particular place to go today, namely the beach. We have probably got about a week or so therefore before we find out if there were as many C19s as grains of sand there.
On a lighter note Chuck Berry was well-known for doing the 'duck walk' as was more recently our own Gemma Wilde of course. Chuck was playing guitar at the same time though so come on Gemma get your act together.
C19 Support Shorts
1) I continue to have influence in high places as after mentioning the lack of an SSP reclaim procedure late on Monday, an email was sent out by Gov.uk at 12.15am. Claims will be possible from 26 May.
2) As the year trundles on Triffid like thoughts are starting to turn to holiday entitlements and how/when these can be fitted in. Detailed guidance has now been issued and an email was sent out earlier covering most scenarios but it will require careful consideration and co-operation during the months to come.